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[11 Oct 2009|11:23pm] |
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i wish i could stop eating.
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| SDFEWA |
[01 Oct 2009|01:06am] |
The Get Up Kids were great tonight. Seeing them made me feel like I was 15 again. Good feeling. I'm in a bitchy mood right now though, so i'm not going to say much.
It has been awhile since i've made any sort of an update. My life is on the suckish side currently, with some slight money problems. We've been behind on bills since it rained so much a few weeks ago. It only takes one week of Mike not working for us to be fucked for 2 months.
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| school |
[25 Aug 2009|09:00am] |
I think i'm still exhausted from the start of the semester yesterday, but i'm recovering. Mondays are going to be hard for me until i get used to them.
Overall I'd say I like my professors (so far) and my classes don't seem like they are going to be TOO incredibly hard. I think Biology is going to be fun. I want to bring my GPA up to at least a 3.5 this semester. I'm right at a 3.2, but i know i can do better than that. I tend to slack off at about mid semester.
anyway, i need to go check out my online class. i'm sure i have an orientation or something.
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[17 Aug 2009|10:03am] |
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I don't really know how to describe how i feel right now, other than undeserving of life. I'm sorry to anyone who has to deal with me on a regular basis. i'm sorry for being selfish and boring.
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[01 Aug 2009|01:03am] |
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i couldn't hate myself more.
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[16 Jul 2009|04:16pm] |
grapefruit 100
solid white albacore tuna w/lemon pepper 140
14 tortilla chips 120
salsa 15
dr.pepper 150
total= 535
it's time to start being obsessive again.
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[13 Jul 2009|03:49pm] |
what i learned from my head injury yesterday is that there is always some other homeboy with a worse head injury.
i hope my forehead doesn't scar though.
oh and i lost 4 pounds last week. which means i'm down 12 pounds in 4 weeks, which i'm actually quite proud of.
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| yes |
[08 Jul 2009|01:24pm] |
i want a bike.
and i might get one.
but i have some priorities first
like..
getting Brady's recent shots and
paying off the warrant that i apparently have in Dallas county.
i also want this shirt really badly, and it will be mine.
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| thats obese. |
[06 Jul 2009|12:18pm] |
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surprisingly i dropped 2 more pounds last week. 2 pounds seems like just a little bit, but when you look at the big picture, i've dropped 8 pounds in 3 weeks.
I had an affair with a delicious cheese burger, and i fooled around with some chocolate pie last night.
i also went to Main Event with Justin and Kevin, and that was fun. I hadn't played DDR in ages. I still suck at it that's for sure, but i am going to buy DDR for the Wii.
the 4th of July was also fun. i didn't see any fireworks, but i got to see Justin and David have a breathing competition.
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| i didn't mean for this to be a diet journal. |
[02 Jul 2009|12:05pm] |
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music |
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brady's st upid toy car. |
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I'm almost 3 weeks into my diet. OH FUCK. i just realized yesterday was my mom's birthday and i didn't call her. FUCK Fuck fuck. oh well I'll play it off when i call her today. I'm a bad daughter.
anyway, so it's been almost 3 weeks since i started my diet, and things are getting easier. My metabolism has sped up amazingly fast. I must admit, i stopped taking Paxil. It's effects on my metabolism were just bad. I went through a couple days of withdrawals which were absolutely horrible, but i'm glad it's over with. I wish i'd never have to take another anti depressant again, but i know how i get. I think i gained 20 pounds in a 2 month span without doing anything differently. I've really been okay mentally though. I've been taking 5-HTP, St. Johns wort and some DHEA and also fish oil capsules, Kevin said they were supposed to help with depression, and i think he's right. I'm feeling good, my anxiety is still a little frustrating, but i'm not depressed, at least not right now.
Last night I went to a poker game at Gerardo's house with David. That was fun, mostly because it's funny to hear David talk shit. I walked away with 14 dollars. I went in with 18, but i talked David out of 5 dollars in the car, so i really came home with 19. I'm hungry as hell right now, so i'm off to eat.
WAIT. i found out last night that Sunny Day Real Estate and the Get up kids are coming to texas soon for a reunion tour, but they aren't coming to fucking dallas, which pisses me off. I'm probably going to drive to san antonio or houston. FUCK IT I HAVE TO SEE THEM.
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| woes |
[30 Jun 2009|09:46am] |
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After running a mile or so yesterday my body is aching. It's okay though because it makes me feel like i worked hard, which is what i wanted. I can already feel my body getting stronger. My arms are definitely more toned now, although there is still too much fat on them. Hopefully cardio will eventually burn some of this fat off. I didn't get enough sleep last night, so i know my body is going to be craving carbs all day since i can't have sleep. ughhhers.
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| asdffffff |
[29 Jun 2009|10:38am] |
minus 3 more pounds. I felt very accomplished when i saw three more pounds off this week. That means i should be able to easily meet my goal of losing 10 pounds this month. I've been working my ass off though, and it hasn't been easy. I feel better though, mentally and physically.
i hope it rains today.
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[27 Jun 2009|09:57am] |
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weight comes off too slowly and it pisses me off. I need to work on patience.
I am doing really well though. Obsessing over everything i eat and exercising really helps me. If i'm not obsessive i half ass everything. Yesterday was the first day i took off from working out since i started. my body really needed a break. I might have done a little bit of wii yoga though, but that's hardly rough.
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[25 Jun 2009|09:53pm] |
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oatmeal 160
turkey hot dog/chips salsa 370
dr.pepper 150
peanut butter and crackers 160
subway's oven roasted chicken breast foot long with mustard, onions, lettuce, pickles and jalepenos 700
then i fucked up and drank a huge dr.pepper because their tea was nasty, i know that's not an excuse. that was probably a good 350 calories. ugh
this is the first day i went over 1500 calories. I'm feeling pretty shitty about it. In fact i feel so shitty about it that i almost want to jump off my balcony, but i need to chill the fuck out for a sec.
I already went for a long walk/run but now i'm going to have to work some more calories off.
I don't know how to balance this all.
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[25 Jun 2009|12:35am] |
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I didn't eat very much today
and i don't really feel hungry.
and my arms are sore as hell from wii fit boxing! lol
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[23 Jun 2009|12:51am] |
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so since i lost 3 pounds i'm not giving up.
my food today consisted of :
apple sauce
veggie burger
coke
broccoli and cheese
some turkey pepperoni
oven baked chicken w/sauteed mushrooms
and red potatoes and snap peas.
i also had a few raspberries. maybe 1 strawberry
for some reason i feel like i super overate, but i barely ate 1500 calories.
also wii fit boxing is super fun.
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[22 Jun 2009|12:02pm] |
-3 pounds bitches.
and that's how i do it.
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[21 Jun 2009|11:30pm] |
breakfast- i'm counting the turkey lunch meat that i came home at 4 am and ate as breakfast-120 calories
lunch- some crappy lean cuisine meal-270 calories, coke- 140 calories
snack- peanut butter and crackers-160 cals
i gave into a piece of pizza at my dads. I felt like shit for doing it and i sort of wanted to kill myself and then i realized i wasn't being very realistic. it's not like i can never eat pizza again. i'd say that i consumed roughly 230 calories from that one slice of pizza and probably like a million grams of fat, but ya know, whatever.
and then to make things worse i went to taco bell for dinner. allow me to add my calories from there.
ok 490 calories and 15 grams of fat. not too bad. the fresco menu saved me. soooooo
my calorie count for the day is:
1410
i guess the slice of pizza didn't kill me after all.
note that i swear to fucking new wave tight tshirt and jeans jesus that if i didn't lose at least 2-3 pounds when i weigh into tomorrow i'm giving up. i have worked my ass off this week. Not only have i reduced my caloric intake by almost half but i have worked out every single day. If i didn't lose 2-3 pounds i'm going to gain 100 and kill myself.
thanks.
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[20 Jun 2009|02:23pm] |
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music |
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smashing pumpkins. |
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i'm feeling really discouraged today.
I'm in one of those sit in the dark and sulk sort of moods.
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emoshunal's journal